Different Is Beautiful

Today's little lesson to learn on the bus was when these sisters got on the bus. I see these ladies on my route often, and I am always amazed at them. I also really miss my sisters when I see these two.

Today was particularly attention grabbing for me though. They got on like normal, except this time of day normally just one gets on, anyhow, they both got on and they were in deep conversation. So deeply engrossed in conversation with each other that they did not realize the lady across from them staring at them the WHOLE time. I got to watch her notice these two and how she was just amazed at how much they look alike. At one point, I thought the lady was going to ask them if they are twins (which I always wonder because, really, they look so much alike).

That's when I began to realize that the reason we are so awestruck at twins is because it is not 'normal' to look like someone else. Everyone is different, even these two sisters are different, maybe not so much in their physical appearance, but seriously, they are not the SAME person. That is so beautiful and wonderful that our God, the Creator of all has designed each of us to be who we are and even those who may share similar features are not the same. Wow that is just amazing to me.

I always look forward to seeing these two sisters on the bus route, they seem to really enjoy life together. How fun it would be to live and commute to work with my sisters :)

Laughter

Laughter is so beautiful. My roommate gave a passionate spill on laughter last night which opened my eyes to looking at it with a different perspective. Laughter is so genuine. It is something God uses to bind people together. It opens up one person to another (or a group). It is so beautiful.

Tonight I found myself laughing to myself out loud as I thought over a situation that happened tonight. Oh dear. I love those moments that I find myself actually laughing out loud and no one else is there. Ha ha... it is really great. But really, laughing with people is even BETTER!

We began studying the Book of Ruth at church tonight. I had forgotten for some reason that Ruth's name means friendship. We were challenged to think of what friendship means and to think of times we've not had friends. I thought of my friends. These wonderful people God has placed in my life. I love them. I hope I am a good friend. I know that my true, deep friends are those who I have been there through some really rough stuff and we have shared the craziest, most fun times too. I think the hard stuff makes us better friends. I thank God for those people who have been there through the tears and the belly-aching laughter!!

What I Dream Of

I sit here this quiet Saturday with the crisp fall air blowing through the window and the soft sun light peaking around the curtains with the whooshing sound of traffic on the expressway just behind the house across the street. My favorites on youtube are playing and all I can think of is how wonderful it is to sit here and just rest with my Savior.

Then my mind ran away. This is what I dream of, maybe I'm already on this path?

I dream of working some place where I am able to save up money to travel all over the world to visit my missionary friends and encourage them.

I dream of a little shop where I can bake and cook and spread the love of Jesus to all who enter.

I dream of a home to decorate and set up.

I dream of a man and children who fill the house with abundant joy.

I dream of doing the things I love and was created to do for the glory and honor of my Maker.

Oh Yeah!

So it just hit me: IT'S THE WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know if I have ever been so excited for the WEEKEND than now!!

AND to top it off, I'm going to BRAZIL!!!! For Thanksgiving and for my friend Nate's wedding.... so amazing!!

I think my agenda for this amazing weekend is to cook, bake, clean, sew, craft, drink coffee and tea. Sounds like a GOOD weekend to me :)

A New Week, A New Challenge

So this week has been pretty good so far.

I guess besides falling down the stairs on Monday and having a head/chest cold, it really has been pretty good... or at least better than last week. I think that attitude adjustment stuff really worked (no, it's not a drug, just some determination!).

Then I read my email last night. Some big news hit me hard. I feel like my life is in shambles again. Confused all over again. Not sure what to do. I guess this is this week's challenge. I really honestly don't know what to do. I don't know who to talk to, I don't even know really who to contact about what! This has changed a lot of things. All I know is that when I read that email last night I had a strange, sad, sickening feeling. Sure, I don't know details, but still, what do I do when my world turns upside down a million times?? Is this the 'real' world everyone always talks about? I guess people don't always get along, even in the Christian circle, I know that, why does this seem to hit so hard and rock me even more? Maybe because I feel like someone who was a fighter for me is no longer in the position to do so. What happens now? Seriously, I don't know what to do. Thanks.

I guess God knew this would all happen too. This must have His fingerprints on it too. All I can continue to hope and cling to is that my God has me securely in His hand and He will never let me down. HE will continue to guide me. I must just take each day at a time and live my fullest for Him. I must follow in His way and listen and obey.

This Day

So I feel like I mostly blog about the little things in my day that come up, or make me smile.

Or make me frustrated or confused.

Here's a little of both I guess.

I smiled as I walked behind the two high school girls dressed in camo this morning and our feet crunched the recently fallen leaves.

I smiled at the multiple people with mis-matched outfits on the CTA... some how it is ok to wear two different stripe patterns and colors??

I smiled at the rice concoction I whipped up for Matty for lunch... and that he could not stop eating it.

I smiled as Matty laughed uncontrollably during lunch, for really no good reason, but that he wanted to laugh!

I smiled at the UPS man who came to the door while I was in the bathroom and both boys had been sleeping for a while. As I opened the door, he pointed out a rather large grasshopper, which of course did not make me flinch, but I smiled inside because I know I'm not jumpy about bugs, but he was convinced I would be freaked out.

I smiled as Micah told me he sometimes has bad dreams as he snarfed down a chocolate chip cookie after his nap. He also told me he had a dog named Kelsey once, which he tells me every time I talk about my friend Kelsey.

I smiled as the boys rocked out to their worship DVD.

I smiled as I got off of work a half hour early, and the cute guy came to the bus stop while I was waiting.

I smiled as I walked up to Moody to meet up with Kelsey & Alan.

I smiled as I got my free vanilla late from Joe's... for my dinner.

I smiled when I walked home right after the rain, with a spring in my step (maybe from the coffee??)

I smiled when I heard my friend Joel is a dad :) and when my roommate has wrote me 2 times in the last 2 days and she is so far away.

On the other side:

I think the thing that bothered me the most today was the two junior high girls on the bus who were talking about another girl sitting across from them. This girl's mom was sitting next to the two girls. I was seriously about to say something to them because I could not take it. Thankfully, the knowing mother spoke up, because I know I would not have said anything nice. She just asked the girls what grade they are in. That calmed the chatter and whispers. As I thought more about it, I realized the mother's response was so right. We are not to lash out at those who hurt us, we are to 'heap coals on their heads', that is exactly what that mother did. She did not yell at the girls to shut up or to pick on someone their own size. She just spoke to them in kindness.

This was so powerful to witness. I came away from that with a little reality check: do I do the same thing those girls do? Talk about people? Why? And then, what do I do when I see something wrong? Do I step in with negative defense or positive defense?? I know what I WANT to respond to, but I think the human side is much more naturally my response.

Something is Missing

I have this strong desire and longing to be a wife and a mom. I have always wanted this, but I feel like this desire has increased so much in the last few months. I know it is not only because of being with children 40+ hours a week, or the fact that most of my friends are married and are starting to have kids, but I know that part of it is because of the stage of life I'm in. I'm at the point in life that people start families.

But something is missing. I can't just wake up tomorrow and be a wife & mom. Something essential is missing.

A man.

But really, not just any man. That man. The one who exists somewhere, or so I hope.

I hope my desire to be a wife and mom is not just selfish, I want to think that I want to do life with a man and be his helper. And serve God at a greater capacity because of joining life with another person.

Maybe one day. For now, I'll just have to be "Aunt Rebecca" or "Auntie Reb" or "Aunt Bek" to all the little ones coming into this world because of my wonderful friends who are a little further down the road of 'starting a family'. I can be thankful for that and enjoy it.

I'll just wait. Maybe the day will come where I too will have a little one and that big, strong man to look after and care for and share life with.

Lord, be with him now, wherever he is.