Impatience

Screaming over and over, the same words, the same tone, and the same voice.

It went on all night long. Too faint to make out what was said, but the terror was clear. It wasn't a tantrum of a child, or a couple fondly in love, no it sounded as if someone was in trouble and in pain, or even remembering a past event of a very painful situation.

It woke me up several times. Fear swept over me and it took me a good half hour each time to fall back asleep.

All of this has hastened my prayers for a life partner. I do not enjoy being all alone without any physical presence of protection.

And then today, graduation, I thought I would sit with people from my church, and then they weren't coming. So I started thinking of people I could sit with (yet again frustrated that I didn't have someone to sit with and all my good girl friends were either graduating, or not coming). I texted 3 guys, all of which were extremely unhelpful in allowing me to join them. I decided I would just look around and find someone, and sure enough, there was one of my good married friends sitting with his parents and in-laws watching his wife graduate, and I got to sit with them! Which I am so thankful for.

I just am impatient and am really tired of doing life solo...even though I do rather enjoy it, there are times that I long for someone to share it with, even just their presence would be nice.

God, you know my heart, please comfort me in all my needs and help me to walk each day according to what Your will is for me, and help me to see that Your plan is perfect as is Your timing. Help me to trust you with all my doubts and fears!

What...?

Just about everyday I get asked these two questions:

What will you even do this summer? (Will there be work for you?)

-and/or-

How long will you be working at Moody?

My response to the first question is usually a nicer form of saying, "Well, I wasn't planning on being homeless and hungry this summer."

My response to the next question is usually, "I have no idea. I love my job. I want to be a wife. I want to be a missionary. I guess I'm just waiting on God to see what He has for me next, for now I'm serving Him here."

I'm sure those who inquire mean well, I just get a little frustrated because it appears my answers (specifically for the second question) are not good enough.

As of lately I think about 'the world outside Moody' and where God may take me.

Last night my roommate asked if I've ever thought of culinary school. I have, but not in too much depth because of the cost. And well, we all know, I really don't like going to school and sitting in a class room, but just to be optimistic, maybe culinary school isn't a learning experience I've ever had. I asked a friend today about his experience at culinary school, and any suggestions he had for me about the possibility, he encouraged me to check out getting a certificate as a pastry chef. I would love that.

Another thing I toss around every few weeks is being an RA or cook at Black Forest Academy (BFA, an international school) in Germany. Again today a friend asked what I'm doing after Moody, and I told him about how I have been accepted to BFA, but that was back when I first took my job at Moody and committed to a year with them. So I guess it is still a consideration in my mind.

So I guess these things are what play in my mind every once in a while when I see December coming in a few months (lol), meaning that my 'one year' at Moody will be up... do I go, do I stay? Only God will show the way and that will only be through waiting and passing of time! For now I serve Him in the mindset of Philippians 2:14-15
Do all things without grumbling or disputing;so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world,

Spring Spring!

Oh Sun Please Shine! I think tomorrow I may go for a walk outside in the radiance of the rays, so sun, please shine!