Well I haven't blogged in so long, partly because I have thankfully been so busy! Today however, I have to blog, I haven't had many people to talk to all day, so I need to get some of these thoughts out of my head.
This week started out last Sunday with me being mildly depressed. I was so lonely. I just wanted to be with people. Yes, I would say it was a time where I probably wallowed in self-pity for too long, but it is okay to admit that I was lonely.
I was discouraged about everything. Guys, job, friends, this stage of life, etc.
Monday came, I was still down. Tuesday came. Same thing. But thankfully I was able to see some of my close friends and that helped boost my spirits some. And Wednesday night I was greatly encouraged at our accountability group by one of the guys who shared that he too had been so discouraged lately.
Tuesday I woke up and went to work just sick of my job. The last few months we have been fighting and presenting a case in hopes to make my current position full time. I have become at complete peace with them not making it full time. I actually hope they don't. I'm tired of it. I do love my job, but I am tired of it. Just ready I think for something else.
I don't know what because what I want to do, it doesn't seem possible. I have been encouraged by a few of my college friends to try to figure out what to do next and get out of Moody. I guess I'm just waiting to hear about the job. I am hoping it doesn't become full time, because I feel like if it is full time, then I will feel stuck there.
There are things I have thought about doing, and depending on what I hear from Moody in hopefully the next few weeks, I will be able with the Lord's help & direction to move forward.
Currently my thoughts are on moving to Humboldt Park/Logan Square area and working at either a bakery in that area or a Starbucks. I'd be closer to my friends I hang out with outside of work and my church.
The other thought is a little more on the extreme side, look into pursuing an RA position at BFA in Germany.
I don't know. I just know that I'm tired of my current job and am ready for what God has next. I'm tired of always not feeling content.
What's next Lord and where will You take me?
