Oh this was His plan too!

So... today I realized yet again how much I just really get frustrated with the American way of learning. I have learned in the last few months that I have a different learning style, that doesn't mean that I'm bad for not learning like the majority of my peers, but it sure does make a lot more sense why I don't do so well with studying, test taking, research writing, etc. (Basically, the American school-system that I've grown up in!)

I have been reminded in the last few months that I never have liked school. I did not even want to come to college. EVER! So today as I talked with my roommate, I realized that I don't know why I have spent thousands of my own money to do something I never wanted to do in the first place. Wow, that is frustrating to think about!

But look at how God has provided all that money to pay for the schooling that is so difficult for me. That in itself is proof that even though I don't WANT to be studying in this way, God wants me here. Wow, chew on that for a bit!

I am currently doing devotions out of a book by Joni Eareckson Tada and today's devotion was about giving God thanks even when the circumstance we find ourselves in would be a typical time to complain or just not understand why we would have to go through the suffering. So I guess I need to stop being so frustrated about the fact of the past, I have always been in this learning environment that is so hard for me to learn in, but God still has taught me! The things I've learned though are beyond the books, the things I've learned deal with people, relationships and most of all, it has forced me to rely on God to get through the struggles of the classroom and homework. I loath those things, it is a huge struggle for me, but wow, He knows what to use to get me to come to Him.

Thank You God for putting me in this place. Continue to teach me, even if it is a different style of learning than those around me, I know You have a plan and a purpose for it all. I trust You God!

Waiting

Senior year has started, and as I write this, it is almost over!

Just a few weeks left of classes. I have three papers left and a few minor exams. How time flies!

I turned my application to Avant Ministries for full-time missionary service in September. As of now, I am waiting for word from them. I do not need to know NOW if I am accepted or not. God will let me know in His time. I must trust that if He doesn't want me with Avant right after graduation, He will make that clear. I will follow where He leads. I have stepped out in faith knowing that He will guide me and make it clear what I am to do!

If I am accepted to Avant, the plan is to attend the candidate training in Kansas City at Avant headquarters in July of 2010. First I must graduate though!

The most pressing thing in my life right now are the papers and the fact that I have no money to pay for my last semester of college. God has provided this far, I know He is capable of continuing to provide if He wants me to finish in May of 2010 at Moody. We'll see what He does. He is bigger than I can ever imagine!