Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Twenties

Does anyone else find life in the twenties hard? OH RIGHT LIFE IS HARD! I don't know what is wrong with me. I am so down. I think it is largely due to my lack of social interaction in the last week. I feel like I'm just living life, the routine things, and there isn't much meaning to it at all. Yeah, I guess I do miss my youth kids. I am ready for school to start back up and to have the normalish schedule back. So many times today I have thought about going to visit my sister and friends in New York, or how I'd like to travel the world, go camping, or so much other than where I am. And always my thoughts come back to that still small voice that whispers "be joyful where you are". I have been madly pushing that aside and wallowing in my self pity tonight. Wondering what in the world is wrong with me. Why do I try so hard to be friends with people, do I try too hard? Why am I single? Why do I live in Chicago? All of these questions are ok to have, but I can't let them get the best of me. Just yesterday I was telling my friend how I know God has me where I'm at for a reason. I don't see it all, but I know it is true. Even in the last 2 days I received random messages from people we've been witnessing to for a few years now. Through the brief interaction with them, the vision to pour into their lives more revisited my mind. I long for the day when I can move out to the neighborhood and have young people in my home constantly. The vision of seeing these people come to Christ. May that be my focus and be constantly reminded that God can and is using me now in their lives to plant seeds only He can water and bear the fruit. My heart is heavy for them. I want to see these three brothers come to Christ, their whole family and then all the friends they bring to the gym on Tuesdays. I want to see these girls who are incredibly smart and fun sold out for Jesus. I want to see every night of the week consumed with learning from the Word of God. The saints gathering together because Sunday just isn't enough time to learn all that we crave to know from God. I just have to remember that verse I have on the side of my blog ------> Habakkuk 2:3 Trust in the Lord's timing. ITs perfect, I am not. My plans fail. Constantly. The only Hope and actual Constant One I have is Christ. May He shine through my twenties too.

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