Friday, February 26, 2010
Learning Frustrations
I learned yesterday through talking with my mom that I am a kinesthetic learner. And as I think about that more, I feel like I am so alone. Am I the only person who learns this way? I am so frustrated. I just don't understand why when there are different learning styles how those people can just be expected to mesh into the rest of the cookie-cutter-system. How have I made it this far? I feel like a failure when I do not match up to the standards of my professors or classmates. What is the point if I'm not even learning anything? And then what do I do since this is a struggle for me when I see that there is no effort being made to teach to the differences?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Jesus Paid it ALL
At Moody, the first week of February is devoted to a large annual conference in celebration of our founder, D. L. Moody. This past ‘Founder’s Week’ I had the opportunity to work as an usher at the main church where the sessions were held. I was stationed at a main door to the massive auditorium. Joo Seong (my new Korean friend) and I welcomed the guests beginning Monday night and continued through the morning and night sessions until Friday evening. There were regular people who came through our doors each session, and we became familiar with people and greeted them accordingly.
Thursday morning rolled around. I was tired, I’m sure Joo Seong was tired too. He got up to assist a guest during the middle of the second sermon. At this time, one of our regular guests approached me and sat down in Joo Seong’s seat. This man (who I later learned is named Rocky) then said, “Can I ask you a question?” Of course, I said yes, expecting that his question would be conference related. To my surprise, he asked, “Have you ever considered going to Israel?” My hesitated response was, “…Um, yeah, I guess so…” To that he proceeded to tell me that he had just talked to some people and he was going to pay my way to go on a study tour trip with Moody to Israel this coming May. I sat there stunned, and speechless.
His next concern was if my parents would allow me to participate in such a trip, and if they would be fine with it. To that I assured him they would be okay. Somehow I managed to ask him “Why me? Are you sure?” “Because my wife’s name is Rebecca” was his answer. Rocky went back to his seat, and I sat through the rest of the sermon stunned. I told Joo Seong, and I think he was about as shocked as I was! My immediate thoughts were that I do not deserve such a gift as this, but that I know how God works on people’s hearts at things like this conference. I could not deny this man’s gift because he is probably acting out of obedience to God to give this to someone. I just feel so undeserving! So many of my friends have wanted to go to Israel, and I honestly have not thought about it a ton. I feel like they should be the ones going not me.
As the congregation sang the last song, Rocky came back to me again and said we should go out to the Israel booth and get me signed up! I had to tell him when I would get off work, and arranged to meet him in the lobby when I was off the clock. I dismissed it all, until I was straightening up the aisles and he came up to me in urgency. He had the registration card all filled out with his information and told me to sign by his name and put my address on the card, and I would be good to go. I did, then it hit me, this is really legit! I told my supervisor, just because I had to tell someone what had just happened.
That night I wrote a thank you note to this gracious man because I did not know if I would ever see him again, and thought it was only appropriate to thank him and let him know about me a little more too. I had just been accepted to Avant Ministries on Monday night of the same week, so I explained to him a little bit of my future goals of going through orientation with Avant in July and hoping to go to Italy, Rome area for church planting in a few years. I also shared with him a little bit of the financial struggle I have been in for my last semester. I told him how God has really used this time of uncertainty with money to bring me closer to Himself and seek Him more sincerely. It has definitely been a time of growth for me. I have found such peace in knowing that whatever God has planned will work out for His glory, and that I must accept it even if the outcome or means of getting there looks different than what I had in mind.
Friday rolled around, and I gave my thank you note to Rocky. I then saw him and his daughter at lunch, they let me eat with them and I learned more about them. He is a now retired Moody alumnus who went through the aviation program and then became a flight inspector for many many years. With the credit he received by working for the airlines, he was able to travel all over. His favorite place to go was Israel. Not only is his wife named Rebecca, but his daughter, the second of five children also shares my name.
His daughter got up from the table to get some coffee. Rocky then asked if I would like to take a roommate along with me on this trip. I again found myself speechless! He told me to think about it and if I decided to have a roommate, he would pay for them to go too! I told my dear friend and roommate, Shannon, and she was shocked, but agreed to be my roommate! She is now signed up too.
That night, the last session closed, and people poured out of the auditorium doors past Joo Seong and I. Rocky walked up with a smile on his face, but stopped to whisper in my ear. The man who had just preached touched on debt and tried to help us understand how much debt America is in. Rocky asked if I heard that sermon and then proceeded to ask me if I still had debt because of my school bill that I wrote about in my note to him. I told him I did, and he then asked how much. I told him, and his reply was, “I’ll take care of it all.” I received a check in the mail a few days ago covering all of my school bill debt! His words in the letter he sent are this, “I believe we should heed the Word and ‘owe no man anything’”.
As most of you know, my final semester at Moody began with me having no idea where the money would come from to pay it all off – ideally debt free. Thank you to those of you who joined with me in prayer and who gave encouragement, I have been touched by your kindness!
This story I share with you is not about me. I want to make that clear. I was going about my work just like everyone else that day and some reason, God decided that I was to receive this gift from Rocky. Through this overwhelming change of events in my life in the last few weeks, I have seen God’s grace in a different way.
Whatever your thoughts are now as you have read what has happened in my life, my hope is that you will see God at work through this. Grace is being given a gift that is not deserved. People are eternally destined to utter separation from God, this is Hell, and we deserve Hell because of sin. There is absolutely nothing people can do on their own to merit communion with God. Jesus is the One who changed it all. He came and sacrificed Himself for anyone who would believe that He was the One who could take away the sins of the world and bring people into that desired communion with God the Father. He died on the cross, but even more, He conquered death by rising from the dead. He paid ALL the debt that we owe; He did this because He loves people. He desired to see the relationship between man and God restored to its original design.
Through Rocky’s abundant gifts, I have now felt in a deeper way God’s grace. When I was a young child I asked God to forgive my sins and take me as His child. I don’t know what it is like to not have God involved in my every decision and every day life. All I can tell you is that walking with Him is not easy, but so fulfilling. Everything else on this earth will pass away and burn, but my God will remain, He is the only source of true joy and fulfillment. In Him lies my security and hope. Humans will fail me, jobs will fail me, money will fail me, but my God never fails!
I had to share this with you because if you are reading this it means that God has used you in my life to teach me something and draw me closer to Him. It is my prayer that this picture of His graciousness to me will draw you closer to Him and bring glory to His name alone. It is all about Him.
Thursday morning rolled around. I was tired, I’m sure Joo Seong was tired too. He got up to assist a guest during the middle of the second sermon. At this time, one of our regular guests approached me and sat down in Joo Seong’s seat. This man (who I later learned is named Rocky) then said, “Can I ask you a question?” Of course, I said yes, expecting that his question would be conference related. To my surprise, he asked, “Have you ever considered going to Israel?” My hesitated response was, “…Um, yeah, I guess so…” To that he proceeded to tell me that he had just talked to some people and he was going to pay my way to go on a study tour trip with Moody to Israel this coming May. I sat there stunned, and speechless.
His next concern was if my parents would allow me to participate in such a trip, and if they would be fine with it. To that I assured him they would be okay. Somehow I managed to ask him “Why me? Are you sure?” “Because my wife’s name is Rebecca” was his answer. Rocky went back to his seat, and I sat through the rest of the sermon stunned. I told Joo Seong, and I think he was about as shocked as I was! My immediate thoughts were that I do not deserve such a gift as this, but that I know how God works on people’s hearts at things like this conference. I could not deny this man’s gift because he is probably acting out of obedience to God to give this to someone. I just feel so undeserving! So many of my friends have wanted to go to Israel, and I honestly have not thought about it a ton. I feel like they should be the ones going not me.
As the congregation sang the last song, Rocky came back to me again and said we should go out to the Israel booth and get me signed up! I had to tell him when I would get off work, and arranged to meet him in the lobby when I was off the clock. I dismissed it all, until I was straightening up the aisles and he came up to me in urgency. He had the registration card all filled out with his information and told me to sign by his name and put my address on the card, and I would be good to go. I did, then it hit me, this is really legit! I told my supervisor, just because I had to tell someone what had just happened.
That night I wrote a thank you note to this gracious man because I did not know if I would ever see him again, and thought it was only appropriate to thank him and let him know about me a little more too. I had just been accepted to Avant Ministries on Monday night of the same week, so I explained to him a little bit of my future goals of going through orientation with Avant in July and hoping to go to Italy, Rome area for church planting in a few years. I also shared with him a little bit of the financial struggle I have been in for my last semester. I told him how God has really used this time of uncertainty with money to bring me closer to Himself and seek Him more sincerely. It has definitely been a time of growth for me. I have found such peace in knowing that whatever God has planned will work out for His glory, and that I must accept it even if the outcome or means of getting there looks different than what I had in mind.
Friday rolled around, and I gave my thank you note to Rocky. I then saw him and his daughter at lunch, they let me eat with them and I learned more about them. He is a now retired Moody alumnus who went through the aviation program and then became a flight inspector for many many years. With the credit he received by working for the airlines, he was able to travel all over. His favorite place to go was Israel. Not only is his wife named Rebecca, but his daughter, the second of five children also shares my name.
His daughter got up from the table to get some coffee. Rocky then asked if I would like to take a roommate along with me on this trip. I again found myself speechless! He told me to think about it and if I decided to have a roommate, he would pay for them to go too! I told my dear friend and roommate, Shannon, and she was shocked, but agreed to be my roommate! She is now signed up too.
That night, the last session closed, and people poured out of the auditorium doors past Joo Seong and I. Rocky walked up with a smile on his face, but stopped to whisper in my ear. The man who had just preached touched on debt and tried to help us understand how much debt America is in. Rocky asked if I heard that sermon and then proceeded to ask me if I still had debt because of my school bill that I wrote about in my note to him. I told him I did, and he then asked how much. I told him, and his reply was, “I’ll take care of it all.” I received a check in the mail a few days ago covering all of my school bill debt! His words in the letter he sent are this, “I believe we should heed the Word and ‘owe no man anything’”.
As most of you know, my final semester at Moody began with me having no idea where the money would come from to pay it all off – ideally debt free. Thank you to those of you who joined with me in prayer and who gave encouragement, I have been touched by your kindness!
This story I share with you is not about me. I want to make that clear. I was going about my work just like everyone else that day and some reason, God decided that I was to receive this gift from Rocky. Through this overwhelming change of events in my life in the last few weeks, I have seen God’s grace in a different way.
Whatever your thoughts are now as you have read what has happened in my life, my hope is that you will see God at work through this. Grace is being given a gift that is not deserved. People are eternally destined to utter separation from God, this is Hell, and we deserve Hell because of sin. There is absolutely nothing people can do on their own to merit communion with God. Jesus is the One who changed it all. He came and sacrificed Himself for anyone who would believe that He was the One who could take away the sins of the world and bring people into that desired communion with God the Father. He died on the cross, but even more, He conquered death by rising from the dead. He paid ALL the debt that we owe; He did this because He loves people. He desired to see the relationship between man and God restored to its original design.
Through Rocky’s abundant gifts, I have now felt in a deeper way God’s grace. When I was a young child I asked God to forgive my sins and take me as His child. I don’t know what it is like to not have God involved in my every decision and every day life. All I can tell you is that walking with Him is not easy, but so fulfilling. Everything else on this earth will pass away and burn, but my God will remain, He is the only source of true joy and fulfillment. In Him lies my security and hope. Humans will fail me, jobs will fail me, money will fail me, but my God never fails!
I had to share this with you because if you are reading this it means that God has used you in my life to teach me something and draw me closer to Him. It is my prayer that this picture of His graciousness to me will draw you closer to Him and bring glory to His name alone. It is all about Him.
Friday, January 29, 2010
The Provider and Protector
The last week has been a roller coaster spiritually. Monday started with some intense times of prayer and conversations with friends and ended in tears as I was told that if I did not have a large sum of money to Moody by Monday, February 1, I would basically be dropped from school. My faith has been stretched in so many ways since Monday.
I have never had a week like this where most of my assignments were not completed or even started the day they were due. Some things I still haven't even gotten to. That is so hard for me, and have been overwhelmed thinking about all of that all day. The picture in my head for this semester so far is a swimmer in water, choking to try to keep from drowning, but it doesn't look promising.
And the friends who I walk by on my way to this or that who shout out "I'm praying for you!" have been so encouraging! I am blown away at how many people have told me that. I have been convicted of my prayer life. I don't go to Him as much as I should. He is never away from me, I should turn to Him more.
Then there are the friends who are choosing to help with my financial situation which have just blown my mind. People who in my mind, are the least likely to do something or be able to do something in this way. I am so encouraged and know that their gifts are only from God.
My friend told me the other day to remember that God is beyond capable of giving me all the money I need for this semester, but to remember that He has the best idea in mind for me now. HE will work it all out in His plan, however that will be. I have found deep, unexplainable peace resting in that and knowing that His provision may not be in the form we think it will and that whatever happens will be for the glory of God.
I feel like this week has been heavy in the learning department of my spiritual walk, but not so much in the classroom. Is that bad? Should I search for the balance?
I guess I need to trust God to provide motivation and desire to study just as He has provided for the finances. And if He is in the business of doing things 'upside down' according to the human mind, how is He going to work this one out? I look forward with anticipation of my Big God in what He will do with this area of my life right now. He has something in mind!
The other thing I wrestle with as I write now is the constant battle I face all day long as a single female. I am realizing that I search so much for approval or satisfaction or protection from guys. Maybe that is natural, but I see it as a weakness of mine and I want it to change. I feel though that it is so much a part of who I am that I don't even know where to start with this one. May I be content in knowing that God is so affectionate for me, His love for me is like a hurricane, and He protects me better than any man or human can! Lord, make me never forget these promises and cling to You for safety and security!
I have never had a week like this where most of my assignments were not completed or even started the day they were due. Some things I still haven't even gotten to. That is so hard for me, and have been overwhelmed thinking about all of that all day. The picture in my head for this semester so far is a swimmer in water, choking to try to keep from drowning, but it doesn't look promising.
And the friends who I walk by on my way to this or that who shout out "I'm praying for you!" have been so encouraging! I am blown away at how many people have told me that. I have been convicted of my prayer life. I don't go to Him as much as I should. He is never away from me, I should turn to Him more.
Then there are the friends who are choosing to help with my financial situation which have just blown my mind. People who in my mind, are the least likely to do something or be able to do something in this way. I am so encouraged and know that their gifts are only from God.
My friend told me the other day to remember that God is beyond capable of giving me all the money I need for this semester, but to remember that He has the best idea in mind for me now. HE will work it all out in His plan, however that will be. I have found deep, unexplainable peace resting in that and knowing that His provision may not be in the form we think it will and that whatever happens will be for the glory of God.
I feel like this week has been heavy in the learning department of my spiritual walk, but not so much in the classroom. Is that bad? Should I search for the balance?
I guess I need to trust God to provide motivation and desire to study just as He has provided for the finances. And if He is in the business of doing things 'upside down' according to the human mind, how is He going to work this one out? I look forward with anticipation of my Big God in what He will do with this area of my life right now. He has something in mind!
The other thing I wrestle with as I write now is the constant battle I face all day long as a single female. I am realizing that I search so much for approval or satisfaction or protection from guys. Maybe that is natural, but I see it as a weakness of mine and I want it to change. I feel though that it is so much a part of who I am that I don't even know where to start with this one. May I be content in knowing that God is so affectionate for me, His love for me is like a hurricane, and He protects me better than any man or human can! Lord, make me never forget these promises and cling to You for safety and security!
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Real?
Candle Light Carols=almost Christmas time at Moody.
This year I worked as an usher for all three performances. Tonight something big hit me as I visited quietly with guests while they waited to enter the auditorium until the applause. Many people commented on how the 'candles' were not real... "but, surely at one point they used real candles" I heard one person say. Another lady mentioned how nice she thought it looked, and that "even her 19 year old son thought it was neat, and he never thinks things are cool." This same woman proceeded to say that her son had mentioned how cool it would be if the candles were real.
WOW. That REALly got me thinking, why is everything so fake around us? Is the fire we have 'burning' inside us a fake Christmas light candle stick? ---Rather than a passionate, burning flame? (RAGING FIRE?!?!?!)
Maybe it is just me, but even this weekend as I stood there greeting guests and probably many people who have so graciously given their money to help pay my way through school, I realized that my smile was mostly fake. Sure, I like people, but honestly, there were times that I would have much rather be yawning or just standing there NOT acknowledging every person that walked by. Hmm, one may argue that I was being paid to stand there and 'be nice to people' or 'help them'. But, I couldn't help but feel like I was putting on a face. The way I dressed the last two days is so out of character for me. Don't get me wrong, it was fun to dress up a little, but really? IS that what our 'Christian' world expects of us now? If I showed up in my normal daily clothes I would be rejected. Maybe it is a cultural thing, but I can see how that can be such a stumbling block to some. Where does Jesus address people that they have to look a certain way in order to worship Him or learn about Him? He went to the lowly, honestly, He came to this earth in the most humble means, seeking the weak and those who have nothing left.
Maybe one day soon people will realize that there is more to this thing called "Christianity" than a bunch of rules and regulations. Maybe it will take some harsh persecution and some 'breaking' down and making 'weak' in order to get people to bend their knees fully to Christ and push aside everything this world has to offer. I will cling to Christ, Him alone!
This year I worked as an usher for all three performances. Tonight something big hit me as I visited quietly with guests while they waited to enter the auditorium until the applause. Many people commented on how the 'candles' were not real... "but, surely at one point they used real candles" I heard one person say. Another lady mentioned how nice she thought it looked, and that "even her 19 year old son thought it was neat, and he never thinks things are cool." This same woman proceeded to say that her son had mentioned how cool it would be if the candles were real.
WOW. That REALly got me thinking, why is everything so fake around us? Is the fire we have 'burning' inside us a fake Christmas light candle stick? ---Rather than a passionate, burning flame? (RAGING FIRE?!?!?!)
Maybe it is just me, but even this weekend as I stood there greeting guests and probably many people who have so graciously given their money to help pay my way through school, I realized that my smile was mostly fake. Sure, I like people, but honestly, there were times that I would have much rather be yawning or just standing there NOT acknowledging every person that walked by. Hmm, one may argue that I was being paid to stand there and 'be nice to people' or 'help them'. But, I couldn't help but feel like I was putting on a face. The way I dressed the last two days is so out of character for me. Don't get me wrong, it was fun to dress up a little, but really? IS that what our 'Christian' world expects of us now? If I showed up in my normal daily clothes I would be rejected. Maybe it is a cultural thing, but I can see how that can be such a stumbling block to some. Where does Jesus address people that they have to look a certain way in order to worship Him or learn about Him? He went to the lowly, honestly, He came to this earth in the most humble means, seeking the weak and those who have nothing left.
Maybe one day soon people will realize that there is more to this thing called "Christianity" than a bunch of rules and regulations. Maybe it will take some harsh persecution and some 'breaking' down and making 'weak' in order to get people to bend their knees fully to Christ and push aside everything this world has to offer. I will cling to Christ, Him alone!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Helping Hurting
So the last few weeks I have been rather disconnected from my studies... not sure if that has to do so much with the fact that I graduate in May, or that I have such a weird learning style and am sick of classes, or if it is that I am trying so hard to figure myself out and try to understand what it is to suffer and hurt and be healed from pain, if that is the will of God. I do not know the answers, all I know is that suffering for the name of Jesus, in order for God to get glory is the best kind of suffering and should be endured with joy.
I still do not know why the pain I have experienced in the last year has hurt so badly or why it had to happen, but maybe it is simply so that God gets glory.
These are a few of the things that I find myself thinking about for long portions of the day recently:
Dreaming of possibilities of what to do after graduation--
I have this strong desire to not hold anything back, I want the world to see me as I am. I want to walk around with confidence of who I am in Christ and look at others as though they belong to Him as well. Is this the secret to unlocking the doors of the mental battles that are raging all around us but everyone is too scared to admit it?
I have been hurt deeply, but it is for a reason, I praise God I have been hurt if even to teach me that others have hurts that are deeper and much more fatal. I have prayed for many years now that God would break my heart for the things that break His, I wonder if these are the things that break His heart. I wonder if the battles that people fight alone in their minds are the things that break His heart. It should not be this way. What can I do Lord to change this? How can I be an agent of change in this place of darkness? Maybe the answer lies in vulnerability. If so, I write these things with freedom because I know my God heals. I know that there is nothing more powerful and peaceful than to know who I am in Christ is much more valuable than what others think of me. I will not hide what Christ has done for me. I want to burn with a passion for Him that causes all the darkness around to flee. The devil desires to destroy, some of the best places for him to work is in the secrets of our minds. I will not let the evil one have any sort of say, I belong to Christ, I am HIS!
Lord, I pray, continue to break my heart for the things that break Yours, may I know and follow hard after You. May I never ever be able to keep from singing Your praise, You are worthy my King and my Savior, my Deliverer!
I still do not know why the pain I have experienced in the last year has hurt so badly or why it had to happen, but maybe it is simply so that God gets glory.
These are a few of the things that I find myself thinking about for long portions of the day recently:
Dreaming of possibilities of what to do after graduation--
- move some place by myself and start all new... what an adventure that sounds like!
- join Avant like I have been planning/thinking
- move back in with my family in CO and begin some sort of out reach to youth girls
- become a substitute teacher in a high school (yeah, this one is the newest idea... not sure what triggered that one!)
- go to grad school??!!????? WHAT? I can't even believe I just wrote that, but tonight I entertained the idea a little more as I finished the book "Days of Glory, Seasons of Night" by Marilee Dunker who's father was the founder of World Vision and Samaritans Purse. The thoughts that triggered in my head as I finished that book tonight were that there is such a need for people in ministry to be taken care of mentally. I am left wondering what I can do about it!
I have this strong desire to not hold anything back, I want the world to see me as I am. I want to walk around with confidence of who I am in Christ and look at others as though they belong to Him as well. Is this the secret to unlocking the doors of the mental battles that are raging all around us but everyone is too scared to admit it?
I have been hurt deeply, but it is for a reason, I praise God I have been hurt if even to teach me that others have hurts that are deeper and much more fatal. I have prayed for many years now that God would break my heart for the things that break His, I wonder if these are the things that break His heart. I wonder if the battles that people fight alone in their minds are the things that break His heart. It should not be this way. What can I do Lord to change this? How can I be an agent of change in this place of darkness? Maybe the answer lies in vulnerability. If so, I write these things with freedom because I know my God heals. I know that there is nothing more powerful and peaceful than to know who I am in Christ is much more valuable than what others think of me. I will not hide what Christ has done for me. I want to burn with a passion for Him that causes all the darkness around to flee. The devil desires to destroy, some of the best places for him to work is in the secrets of our minds. I will not let the evil one have any sort of say, I belong to Christ, I am HIS!
Lord, I pray, continue to break my heart for the things that break Yours, may I know and follow hard after You. May I never ever be able to keep from singing Your praise, You are worthy my King and my Savior, my Deliverer!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Pray with me please!
I just wanted to write those prayer warriors out there that I know! I will beginning my final semester at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, and well, that means that I have only one more semester remaining to pay for! Praise God! He has abundantly provided in His time for every payment deadline so far. I do not doubt that if He wants me to finish at Moody He will make it possible. But I just wanted to ask you guys to pray that even in this really hard time in our economy, that faith would not lack and that doubt would not arise. Please pray with me now that God will provide the funds remaining for my final semester at Moody. I am so thankful to Him for the job He has given me and the people He puts in my path to encourage me and who I can offer encouragement to as well.
Thanks to all of you who have made an impact on my life as well. God has used each of you in my life and I am very thankful to know you. Please let me know if there is anything I can be praying for you about as well.
I will let you know what happens with this money situation! Thanks for your prayers!
Thanks to all of you who have made an impact on my life as well. God has used each of you in my life and I am very thankful to know you. Please let me know if there is anything I can be praying for you about as well.
I will let you know what happens with this money situation! Thanks for your prayers!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Oh this was His plan too!
So... today I realized yet again how much I just really get frustrated with the American way of learning. I have learned in the last few months that I have a different learning style, that doesn't mean that I'm bad for not learning like the majority of my peers, but it sure does make a lot more sense why I don't do so well with studying, test taking, research writing, etc. (Basically, the American school-system that I've grown up in!)
I have been reminded in the last few months that I never have liked school. I did not even want to come to college. EVER! So today as I talked with my roommate, I realized that I don't know why I have spent thousands of my own money to do something I never wanted to do in the first place. Wow, that is frustrating to think about!
But look at how God has provided all that money to pay for the schooling that is so difficult for me. That in itself is proof that even though I don't WANT to be studying in this way, God wants me here. Wow, chew on that for a bit!
I am currently doing devotions out of a book by Joni Eareckson Tada and today's devotion was about giving God thanks even when the circumstance we find ourselves in would be a typical time to complain or just not understand why we would have to go through the suffering. So I guess I need to stop being so frustrated about the fact of the past, I have always been in this learning environment that is so hard for me to learn in, but God still has taught me! The things I've learned though are beyond the books, the things I've learned deal with people, relationships and most of all, it has forced me to rely on God to get through the struggles of the classroom and homework. I loath those things, it is a huge struggle for me, but wow, He knows what to use to get me to come to Him.
Thank You God for putting me in this place. Continue to teach me, even if it is a different style of learning than those around me, I know You have a plan and a purpose for it all. I trust You God!
I have been reminded in the last few months that I never have liked school. I did not even want to come to college. EVER! So today as I talked with my roommate, I realized that I don't know why I have spent thousands of my own money to do something I never wanted to do in the first place. Wow, that is frustrating to think about!
But look at how God has provided all that money to pay for the schooling that is so difficult for me. That in itself is proof that even though I don't WANT to be studying in this way, God wants me here. Wow, chew on that for a bit!
I am currently doing devotions out of a book by Joni Eareckson Tada and today's devotion was about giving God thanks even when the circumstance we find ourselves in would be a typical time to complain or just not understand why we would have to go through the suffering. So I guess I need to stop being so frustrated about the fact of the past, I have always been in this learning environment that is so hard for me to learn in, but God still has taught me! The things I've learned though are beyond the books, the things I've learned deal with people, relationships and most of all, it has forced me to rely on God to get through the struggles of the classroom and homework. I loath those things, it is a huge struggle for me, but wow, He knows what to use to get me to come to Him.
Thank You God for putting me in this place. Continue to teach me, even if it is a different style of learning than those around me, I know You have a plan and a purpose for it all. I trust You God!
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