Britt is staying with us this weekend. So fun to have one last weekend, just the girls, before Shannon leaves. Tonight we are going to get drinks (real drinks ;) ), eat chips and salsa, and maybe watch a movie. Then tomorrow we will hang with the others who are arriving back on campus. One last sha-bang. Yeah, I'll miss my scattered, laid-back, simple, creative, funny, compassionate, daring roommate. I think I'm in denial that she is leaving. It has not hit me at all. I'm just not thinking about it.
The rest of this day has been filled with seeing people from Moody. I stopped by to meet up with Jenn because she was helping me move, and Mel & Sean were sitting in the plaza. So good to catch up with them.
A bit later Diego, Naomi & Angelica came. Then Hector. Then I saw Dre walking along, caught up with him. Talked with Alan for a bit. Then off to Jimmy's to pick up my things. Jenn is awesome, and got everything from Jimmy's into her car, and then everything from this apartment... all one trip. She is so great.
After many times up and down three flights of stairs at both apartments, and many heavy boxes, most of my things are in the new place. I even met the neighbors across the hall.
Jenn and I went back to campus just to chill before she had to work. We went to our favorite spot, the SDR, and I saw some of the boys. Dan, Colin, Michael and Big James. Colin greeted me with "Hey LITTLE GUY!!!!!" And ran to give me a big wet hug. Dan was all smiles just like always. I just love them. Then walking through the servery Big James came through the door and we both just ran and hugged! How refreshing to see familiar faces and be in one of my favorite places in all the world.
A while later the crew started to arrive. Kristina, Krystallin, new people. Then Anna showed up!! What a treat! I got to talk with Hailey for a while and catch up with her. Saw Linnae, and chatted with Tiffany. Ate with dishcrew and laughed just like old times. I felt a little funny knowing that I had been on dishcrew longer than anyone at that table, going around and remembering when all or most of them started. A little weird.
As I left campus I ran into Kyle, Cristina, and Kelsey.
Oh I love these people. It is so weird to go back to campus, but so good to see and be around people that know me and I can just be myself. It amazes me sometimes the people who are my friends, I know it is only because of the common bond of Jesus Christ that makes us friends, and that is so wonderful and beautiful. I would not have it any other way. These people have helped me become who I am today because of Christ working in us all.
I am thankful that they are not all gone, I am thankful I can go back and visit and still know a few people. That is encouraging to me. I'm glad I live here for now. I just wonder what is next.
Lord, please help me to rejoice with where I am at now. Help me to live each day as it is my last and to love those who are in my daily life.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Daydreaming
It happened again. Something about sitting on the bus just gets my mind in 'daydream' mode.
So today on the way home from work I thought about how much I love cooking/baking and the thoughts just ran from there.
What if I became a small business owner and opened a little shop in a city (Chicago?) and was only open for breakfast and lunch. I would have a counter with bar stools and a few tables. Everything on the menu would be my favorite things to cook and eat for breakfast and lunch with special names. The decor would be simple, but with a country/old fashioned theme. I'm sure there would be a John Deere tucked into some corner. :)
The little shop would be called "Reb's". I would make my own little uniform dresses out of checkered fabric and wear a different color every day. If the work got to be too much, I would have one of my brothers, probably Peter, come help me out. The goal of this little cafe would be to serve people and love them through giving food. Sure there would be prices, but I would want to get to know my regulars more than their money. Building relationships with people in a natural setting would be the goal, in order for the Gospel to be incorporated and proclaimed.
I'm sure I could expound on this dream more and more, but I guess that is all for now. I wonder some times if the majority of the people in this world enjoy the jobs they go to 9-5 Monday-Friday. Do most people really do what they love?
Then I wonder, what do I love? Is it possible to do what I love for the rest of my life? Is it better to do something I love than to make loads of money?
So today on the way home from work I thought about how much I love cooking/baking and the thoughts just ran from there.
What if I became a small business owner and opened a little shop in a city (Chicago?) and was only open for breakfast and lunch. I would have a counter with bar stools and a few tables. Everything on the menu would be my favorite things to cook and eat for breakfast and lunch with special names. The decor would be simple, but with a country/old fashioned theme. I'm sure there would be a John Deere tucked into some corner. :)
The little shop would be called "Reb's". I would make my own little uniform dresses out of checkered fabric and wear a different color every day. If the work got to be too much, I would have one of my brothers, probably Peter, come help me out. The goal of this little cafe would be to serve people and love them through giving food. Sure there would be prices, but I would want to get to know my regulars more than their money. Building relationships with people in a natural setting would be the goal, in order for the Gospel to be incorporated and proclaimed.
I'm sure I could expound on this dream more and more, but I guess that is all for now. I wonder some times if the majority of the people in this world enjoy the jobs they go to 9-5 Monday-Friday. Do most people really do what they love?
Then I wonder, what do I love? Is it possible to do what I love for the rest of my life? Is it better to do something I love than to make loads of money?
Monday, August 16, 2010
The Waiting Season
That is what this is. I'm in transition and I'm waiting on the Lord. I have no idea what my future holds. All I know is that He will not fail me and He is faithful. I have to trust Him.
I'm so frustrated with my job because it is affecting the rest of my life. I am learning so much there, but it drains me so much too.
I started this day thinking that I one day actually want children, and about 3:30 this afternoon I was about to walk out of work and never come back. And on top of that vow to never have children! I am trying to not take the harshness of a three-year-old too personally, but wow, today I was completely offended. Maybe I'm being the childish one here.
Then as I waited for the bus, my dear friend called, he told me he and his wife are expecting their first child in February. To which I was ecstatic that he is going to be a daddy!! But as we ended our conversation, I could not help but be sad that the majority of my very close, deep friends are now married, and at least 3 of them have babies already. I feel like I'm behind. I feel like I'm missing out. And I so want to be right there with them.
I came home and made a yummy dinner, but as I prepared and cooked the food, I could not help but wonder if there is a guy out there, is there a man I can share food with one day and cook him meals? I want to be his wife. I want to have a little home and be the woman of the house. Oh why is this such a desire of mine? I wish that it would just go away.
When I lay these longings before my King, He says wait as of lately. So my King, I will wait. Hold me though while I wait, my tears are big and my heart heavy.
I'm so frustrated with my job because it is affecting the rest of my life. I am learning so much there, but it drains me so much too.
I started this day thinking that I one day actually want children, and about 3:30 this afternoon I was about to walk out of work and never come back. And on top of that vow to never have children! I am trying to not take the harshness of a three-year-old too personally, but wow, today I was completely offended. Maybe I'm being the childish one here.
Then as I waited for the bus, my dear friend called, he told me he and his wife are expecting their first child in February. To which I was ecstatic that he is going to be a daddy!! But as we ended our conversation, I could not help but be sad that the majority of my very close, deep friends are now married, and at least 3 of them have babies already. I feel like I'm behind. I feel like I'm missing out. And I so want to be right there with them.
I came home and made a yummy dinner, but as I prepared and cooked the food, I could not help but wonder if there is a guy out there, is there a man I can share food with one day and cook him meals? I want to be his wife. I want to have a little home and be the woman of the house. Oh why is this such a desire of mine? I wish that it would just go away.
When I lay these longings before my King, He says wait as of lately. So my King, I will wait. Hold me though while I wait, my tears are big and my heart heavy.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Mom
Tonight I talked with my mom, which was one of the best conversations I've had with her ever.
This woman is incredible. When I talk with her as I have gotten older and get an inside view at what her life has been, I am in awe.
This woman is a quiet, beautiful, natural, free, fun, loving, caring person. She is totally a country girl through and through. I was reminded of this when she told me she did something 'out of the ordinary' today. I had no idea what to expect, last time she told me something like that she had 'gone to coffee' with a lady from church! :) (To which, I cried because it has been so long since I saw my mom with a real friend!)
Well, today the guys went camping, and Heidi was still at work, so Mom went to the county fair. She said she walked through the livestock barns, then the exhibit hall and looked at all the projects. She talked with a little girl from Sam's class about her hog she showed. Mom is the expert pig woman. She knows so much about those animals! So I don't really know why mom said today was something 'out of the ordinary', but to me it sounded like she actually did something she LOVES!
Made me really miss the country. The slow life. Because today I saw the opposite. I saw the life of the Urban Mom. Oh my, it is different. It is still a culture that I do not understand. I struggle here. I do not understand. Sure there are good and bad in both, but today I was really struck with how simple life was when I grew up in the country and how for the kids I watch, life is complicated! All the pressures of the urban mom.
Then I asked my mom if she had a hard time transitioning after college. This is when I began to cry because I began to see my lovely mother at my age almost 30 years ago. I could see her, 3 weeks after graduating from college, a newly wed in a new city, no job, and only able to call family and friends once in a while because those calls were long distance (meaning expensive!). And dad had the car when he went to work, so she said she would sit at home and sew or learn how to bake bread (which is the best homemade bread I have EVER had in my entire life!).
I could see her. I could hear for one of the first times ever my mom being real and sharing with me something of her past that was a hard thing at the time. These moments don't happen much. I felt like I got a piece of treasure. I was also encouraged because I knew she knows how I feel in some ways. She knows what it is like to be so far from family and friends, and have to adjust to some place totally new.
Something else I have thought about this week about my mom is that she is just a wonderful mom! She told me tonight that she gave up her job to be a mom. They wouldn't give her part time work so she told them to tell her what their process was for her to resign! She said her friends thought she was crazy to sacrifice her degree and a good job to be a MOM! And at this point she was a new believer, so lots of things were new and different in her life. I'm so thankful for my mom who sacrificed to be there for my sisters, brothers, and I. She taught all 5 of us to read, write, do math, how to clean, cook, use proper manners, do laundry, talk kind, and most of all, she loved to tell us Bible stories. It is my mom who first shared with me the story of Jesus and because of that, I am where I am at today.
I hope that one day I can be as good a mom as my mom is and has been. God bless that woman!
This woman is incredible. When I talk with her as I have gotten older and get an inside view at what her life has been, I am in awe.
This woman is a quiet, beautiful, natural, free, fun, loving, caring person. She is totally a country girl through and through. I was reminded of this when she told me she did something 'out of the ordinary' today. I had no idea what to expect, last time she told me something like that she had 'gone to coffee' with a lady from church! :) (To which, I cried because it has been so long since I saw my mom with a real friend!)
Well, today the guys went camping, and Heidi was still at work, so Mom went to the county fair. She said she walked through the livestock barns, then the exhibit hall and looked at all the projects. She talked with a little girl from Sam's class about her hog she showed. Mom is the expert pig woman. She knows so much about those animals! So I don't really know why mom said today was something 'out of the ordinary', but to me it sounded like she actually did something she LOVES!
Made me really miss the country. The slow life. Because today I saw the opposite. I saw the life of the Urban Mom. Oh my, it is different. It is still a culture that I do not understand. I struggle here. I do not understand. Sure there are good and bad in both, but today I was really struck with how simple life was when I grew up in the country and how for the kids I watch, life is complicated! All the pressures of the urban mom.
Then I asked my mom if she had a hard time transitioning after college. This is when I began to cry because I began to see my lovely mother at my age almost 30 years ago. I could see her, 3 weeks after graduating from college, a newly wed in a new city, no job, and only able to call family and friends once in a while because those calls were long distance (meaning expensive!). And dad had the car when he went to work, so she said she would sit at home and sew or learn how to bake bread (which is the best homemade bread I have EVER had in my entire life!).
I could see her. I could hear for one of the first times ever my mom being real and sharing with me something of her past that was a hard thing at the time. These moments don't happen much. I felt like I got a piece of treasure. I was also encouraged because I knew she knows how I feel in some ways. She knows what it is like to be so far from family and friends, and have to adjust to some place totally new.
Something else I have thought about this week about my mom is that she is just a wonderful mom! She told me tonight that she gave up her job to be a mom. They wouldn't give her part time work so she told them to tell her what their process was for her to resign! She said her friends thought she was crazy to sacrifice her degree and a good job to be a MOM! And at this point she was a new believer, so lots of things were new and different in her life. I'm so thankful for my mom who sacrificed to be there for my sisters, brothers, and I. She taught all 5 of us to read, write, do math, how to clean, cook, use proper manners, do laundry, talk kind, and most of all, she loved to tell us Bible stories. It is my mom who first shared with me the story of Jesus and because of that, I am where I am at today.
I hope that one day I can be as good a mom as my mom is and has been. God bless that woman!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Thoughts and Food...Or the Lack of both
Yesterday was incredibly hot in Chicago.
I felt a little 'off' all day. Just thought it was PMS.
Awoke at 12am with a terrible belly ache.
About 10 minutes later I was saying good-bye to my dinner.
After recovering from the violence, I crawled back into my sweaty bed and draped a damp cloth on my head.
Finally some sleep.
Awoke with the strong hunger burning inside of me, to which I thought "I guess I'm better enough to go to work."
I ate about 4 crackers, drank 3 sips of coffee, showered and ran out the door.
Sat on the bus.... IN the sun the whole way.
Began feeling worse.... and worse.
Began to doze, and jolted awake just before my stop.
Walked into work and told Tammy I didn't feel good.
She went to work, Matty ate his food, then he went to sleep.
I stretched out on the couch for two hours and slept while Matty tossed and turned and eventually slept too.
I woke up around Noon and Matty was out.
I wandered to the kitchen, then the bathroom.
I felt sick.
Stayed in the bathroom.
Oh dear, round two.
Why did I come to work?
Phone rings... Tammy, I'm sick.
Matty wakes up.
We play on the floor.
Micah & Tammy come home.
The boys eat fries and chicken nuggets while I chug some Pepto.
Finally Micah is done and he goes to sleep.
Next Matty to bed.
I sit on the couch, dozing in and out as Matty plays quietly in his crib.
Tammy comes down about half hour later, I leave.
Longest trip on the bus of my life, then the el.
Stop at 7Eleven got some 7up and Naked Juice.
Climb slowly to the apartment.
Take out the trash.
Check email.
Go to bed.
Wake up an hour later to my roommate coming home with a can of Sprite in her hands.
Back to sleep, but wake up an hour later.
Hungry.
Roommate making dinner.
Smells amazing.
I'm contemplating if I should eat some.
Just as Shannon is asking if I want some, I say "I feel like throw....." But couldn't finish because, well, yep, round 3.
Alas, my conclusion of today is that 7up tastes better to throw up than water.
I have not had a meal or even food stay in me since lunch yesterday.
I have no energy.
What is this?
I never get sick, I really don't know what to do when I am.
I want to eat, but nothing really sounds good at all.
The only thing I really thought about today was how fun it would be to take a trip to Ecuador for about a week and visit the Hunters, then to go to Peru for about a week and visit Bethany and family, then go to Brasil for Nate's wedding. That would be so much fun. If only if only I had the time and the money I guess!! :)
I felt a little 'off' all day. Just thought it was PMS.
Awoke at 12am with a terrible belly ache.
About 10 minutes later I was saying good-bye to my dinner.
After recovering from the violence, I crawled back into my sweaty bed and draped a damp cloth on my head.
Finally some sleep.
Awoke with the strong hunger burning inside of me, to which I thought "I guess I'm better enough to go to work."
I ate about 4 crackers, drank 3 sips of coffee, showered and ran out the door.
Sat on the bus.... IN the sun the whole way.
Began feeling worse.... and worse.
Began to doze, and jolted awake just before my stop.
Walked into work and told Tammy I didn't feel good.
She went to work, Matty ate his food, then he went to sleep.
I stretched out on the couch for two hours and slept while Matty tossed and turned and eventually slept too.
I woke up around Noon and Matty was out.
I wandered to the kitchen, then the bathroom.
I felt sick.
Stayed in the bathroom.
Oh dear, round two.
Why did I come to work?
Phone rings... Tammy, I'm sick.
Matty wakes up.
We play on the floor.
Micah & Tammy come home.
The boys eat fries and chicken nuggets while I chug some Pepto.
Finally Micah is done and he goes to sleep.
Next Matty to bed.
I sit on the couch, dozing in and out as Matty plays quietly in his crib.
Tammy comes down about half hour later, I leave.
Longest trip on the bus of my life, then the el.
Stop at 7Eleven got some 7up and Naked Juice.
Climb slowly to the apartment.
Take out the trash.
Check email.
Go to bed.
Wake up an hour later to my roommate coming home with a can of Sprite in her hands.
Back to sleep, but wake up an hour later.
Hungry.
Roommate making dinner.
Smells amazing.
I'm contemplating if I should eat some.
Just as Shannon is asking if I want some, I say "I feel like throw....." But couldn't finish because, well, yep, round 3.
Alas, my conclusion of today is that 7up tastes better to throw up than water.
I have not had a meal or even food stay in me since lunch yesterday.
I have no energy.
What is this?
I never get sick, I really don't know what to do when I am.
I want to eat, but nothing really sounds good at all.
The only thing I really thought about today was how fun it would be to take a trip to Ecuador for about a week and visit the Hunters, then to go to Peru for about a week and visit Bethany and family, then go to Brasil for Nate's wedding. That would be so much fun. If only if only I had the time and the money I guess!! :)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
One of those question things
I found this on facebook, but thought it would be fun to put on my blog. Fun, relaxing time killer!
What is on your bed right now?
a blue sheet, Shannon's pillow, my John Deere pillow, and my two green blankets
When was the last time you threw up?
April 30, my birthday right before my presentation
What's your favorite word or phrase?
Oh My Word
What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
walking to the train and eating my bagel
What were you doing 30 mintes ago?
walking home from the train
What is your favorite holiday?
Thanksgiving, because everyone is at Grandma's and she & I do all the cooking
Have you ever been to another country?
Belize, Canada, Italy, Peru, Israel (been in the airport of Spain & Germany)
What is the last thing you said aloud?
"there's no food" I said this to myself...outloud oh dear!
What is the best ice cream flavor?
VANILLA!
What was the last thing you had to drink?
Water
What are you wearing right now?
a t-shirt from high school, my denim short/capri things
What was the last thing you ate?
i'm eatin a can of green beans right now... seriously all i could find
Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
No
When was the last time you ran?
At COP with Tim & Jo :)
What's the last sporting event you watched?
The world cup final
If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Africa
Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on facebook?
Bethany Grubb
Ever go camping?
oh yes, nearly every summer as a kid
Do you have a tan?
yeah, still some distinct lines from spring break
Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
just the waste
Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot?
yeah :)
Do you drink your soda from a straw?
only really at restaurants
What did your last text message say?
Um I cannot repeat it...
Are you someone's best friend?
Hmm good question
What are you doing tomorrow?
Working working working
Where is your mom right now?
In Colorado with dad and Heidi
Look to your left, what do you see?
A rocking chair
What color is your watch?
i don't have one
What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Kiwis
Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
yep
What is your birthstone?
diamond
Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
usually go in
Do you have any friends on facebook that you actually hate?
No I don't think so.
Do you have a dog?
nope, thankfully.
Last person you talked to on the phone?
Ruth my sista
Are you happy?
sure
Where are you right now?
Adam & Hannah Stuart-Walker's place
Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
the dripping faucet in the bathroom when it could easily be turned off and stopped!!
Last song listened to?
Different Kinds of Happy by Sara Groves
Last movie you saw?
Persuasion
Are you allergic to anything?
sulfa drugs
Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
my havianas from brazil
Are you jealous of anyone?
no
Are you married?
nope
Is anyone jealous of you?
i really highly doubt that!
Do any of your friends have children?
Lots of them
Do you eat healthy?
Mostly at work, and I try to at home by cooking my meals... however it takes food to cook, and it seems I have NONE!
What do you usually do during the day?
work with children
Do you hate anyone right now?
no
Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
yes, probably a lot
How many kids do you want when you're older?
three or five
How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
23
Have you ever been to Six Flags?
yes
How did u get one of your scars?
my cat, Patches scratched my leg when I was really little, the scar grew with me
What is on your bed right now?
a blue sheet, Shannon's pillow, my John Deere pillow, and my two green blankets
When was the last time you threw up?
April 30, my birthday right before my presentation
What's your favorite word or phrase?
Oh My Word
What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
walking to the train and eating my bagel
What were you doing 30 mintes ago?
walking home from the train
What is your favorite holiday?
Thanksgiving, because everyone is at Grandma's and she & I do all the cooking
Have you ever been to another country?
Belize, Canada, Italy, Peru, Israel (been in the airport of Spain & Germany)
What is the last thing you said aloud?
"there's no food" I said this to myself...outloud oh dear!
What is the best ice cream flavor?
VANILLA!
What was the last thing you had to drink?
Water
What are you wearing right now?
a t-shirt from high school, my denim short/capri things
What was the last thing you ate?
i'm eatin a can of green beans right now... seriously all i could find
Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
No
When was the last time you ran?
At COP with Tim & Jo :)
What's the last sporting event you watched?
The world cup final
If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Africa
Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on facebook?
Bethany Grubb
Ever go camping?
oh yes, nearly every summer as a kid
Do you have a tan?
yeah, still some distinct lines from spring break
Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
just the waste
Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot?
yeah :)
Do you drink your soda from a straw?
only really at restaurants
What did your last text message say?
Um I cannot repeat it...
Are you someone's best friend?
Hmm good question
What are you doing tomorrow?
Working working working
Where is your mom right now?
In Colorado with dad and Heidi
Look to your left, what do you see?
A rocking chair
What color is your watch?
i don't have one
What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Kiwis
Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
yep
What is your birthstone?
diamond
Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
usually go in
Do you have any friends on facebook that you actually hate?
No I don't think so.
Do you have a dog?
nope, thankfully.
Last person you talked to on the phone?
Ruth my sista
Are you happy?
sure
Where are you right now?
Adam & Hannah Stuart-Walker's place
Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
the dripping faucet in the bathroom when it could easily be turned off and stopped!!
Last song listened to?
Different Kinds of Happy by Sara Groves
Last movie you saw?
Persuasion
Are you allergic to anything?
sulfa drugs
Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
my havianas from brazil
Are you jealous of anyone?
no
Are you married?
nope
Is anyone jealous of you?
i really highly doubt that!
Do any of your friends have children?
Lots of them
Do you eat healthy?
Mostly at work, and I try to at home by cooking my meals... however it takes food to cook, and it seems I have NONE!
What do you usually do during the day?
work with children
Do you hate anyone right now?
no
Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
yes, probably a lot
How many kids do you want when you're older?
three or five
How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
23
Have you ever been to Six Flags?
yes
How did u get one of your scars?
my cat, Patches scratched my leg when I was really little, the scar grew with me
Sunday, August 8, 2010
The Invisible Line
I see it every day on the bus on my way to work, and tonight it was even clearer.
Little did I know that I would be the cause of a verbal brawl tonight as I sat at Fred's birthday party in the grass with three or four little girls running their fingers through my hair, pulling it this way and that, and making comments like "your hair is so smooth" or "look how it flops" then one of them said "I like white people's hair".... that comment was like a bomb that went off. All of the adults who were sitting around, probably not knowing what to do with these two 'white girls', turned their heads and started yelling at the poor girl. One lady said "honey, she is no different than you! Don't be talking about the skin, that doesn't make any difference about who a person is!" Another little girls yells, "she ain't white, she black!" At that I thought, what makes me black in her mind? She must see something that some people miss, is that the way I look at people too?
When it came time to leave, Shan & I had a ride from one of the uncles, his son and step grandson were with us all too. I have no clue what my family and some friends would think if they knew we were riding with people we had never met before and then proceeded to go to the most dangerous neighborhood of Chicago. Apparently we were in the heart of Englewood, the neighborhood everyone hears about on the news. I couldn't help but wonder what people must have thought as they saw us two white girls in the back seat.
And then I thought of it again, that invisible line, no white people go down that way. Which isn't terrible, but it is clear that there is still a deep rooted hate on both sides and people on each side don't know what to do because they don't know where each individual person is at. It is a risk everyone takes to step out and look beyond that color. I'm willing to step over the line and treat everyone I come in contact with no different than anyone else. Even as I say that though, I think of the times I don't, and Lord forgive me for those times because I know You love us all the same. Thank You Father for Your Love that does not have lines defined by colors, but reaches all.
Little did I know that I would be the cause of a verbal brawl tonight as I sat at Fred's birthday party in the grass with three or four little girls running their fingers through my hair, pulling it this way and that, and making comments like "your hair is so smooth" or "look how it flops" then one of them said "I like white people's hair".... that comment was like a bomb that went off. All of the adults who were sitting around, probably not knowing what to do with these two 'white girls', turned their heads and started yelling at the poor girl. One lady said "honey, she is no different than you! Don't be talking about the skin, that doesn't make any difference about who a person is!" Another little girls yells, "she ain't white, she black!" At that I thought, what makes me black in her mind? She must see something that some people miss, is that the way I look at people too?
When it came time to leave, Shan & I had a ride from one of the uncles, his son and step grandson were with us all too. I have no clue what my family and some friends would think if they knew we were riding with people we had never met before and then proceeded to go to the most dangerous neighborhood of Chicago. Apparently we were in the heart of Englewood, the neighborhood everyone hears about on the news. I couldn't help but wonder what people must have thought as they saw us two white girls in the back seat.
And then I thought of it again, that invisible line, no white people go down that way. Which isn't terrible, but it is clear that there is still a deep rooted hate on both sides and people on each side don't know what to do because they don't know where each individual person is at. It is a risk everyone takes to step out and look beyond that color. I'm willing to step over the line and treat everyone I come in contact with no different than anyone else. Even as I say that though, I think of the times I don't, and Lord forgive me for those times because I know You love us all the same. Thank You Father for Your Love that does not have lines defined by colors, but reaches all.
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