Life as One

I guess it comes with this 'age' or 'stage' in life, I have found that the majority of my friends are married now.

Which is wonderful. Because most of them I know and have known both since before they were married, and it has been fun to see them come together because of God.

Tonight I spent time with some of these special married friends, and they were/are just so encouraging to me.

One of my friends spoke some solid truth and admonishment to me. I needed to hear his guy perspective. Soooo helpful.

I am encouraged by these people who confess to me that they too have fears, that they too never thought or even still think they were ever 'ready' to be married. Most of all, I'm encouraged to know from these friends that in no way has their spouse 'completed' the other, or 'filled' an area inside of them, as individuals their only real need is still Christ and each of them will eventually fail the other.

Some of my other friends I spent time with today are single guys. Godly men. Guys who are genuine, loving, funny, people love them, and are so fine with being single. I appreciate their friendships too. What great people.

Oh the things that I've pondered today because of these great friends.

Doubt and Defeat +Christ=Victory

The thing I find myself wanting so so badly most of the time I am the most scared of. It seriously is one of my greatest fears.

Today I had a meltdown. Major meltdown. The last few days I've been fighting to believe that God is able to take care of my fears and believe that He is able to do what I hope for and heal me too.

All the content thoughts, feelings, and just being I have been experiencing the last few weeks, have been replaced the last few days with the devil creeping in and whispering to me that I'm not good enough, that no one will like me, that I'm a failure, that I annoy people, that I'm no good at anything. He is so WRONG!

But I have been believing him. And I know I am WRONG.

My prayer has been that I believe He is able, but for Him to help my unbelief like in Mark 9:24. Or unlike doubting Thomas, I need to have faith and believe in who Jesus is, the person of Christ and who I am to Him even without seeing Him in physical form before me.

Then I read Psalm 18 tonight. That is a powerful & passionate Psalm. Talks about when God delivered David from all his enemies and from Saul's hand. God tears apart heaven and earth for those whom He loves. HE LOVES ME. HE will defeat my enemies! The ones on this earth that I have grown to hate, and the evil one who tries to convince me of everything I am not.

Can I now live in victory that God has this under control and the enemies in my life are defeated? Can I believe that He is able? Can I forgive myself?

The Places You Take me

Oh how I long to be a woman of greater faith.

I desire to strive so hard after God.

To live a life displaying to all I meet the testimony of the greatness of our God and the marvelous work HE alone has done in me. I am completely nothing without Him.

I want to be a woman that prays constantly. I want each moment to be filled with something being put before my King on the throne.

I want to have the words to share with those who hurt and are so confused. I want to encourage the weary and be a ray of light to the downcast.

I want to fight for those who are overlooked. I want to get rid of the favoritism in my own life.

I want to love before I look on the outside. I want to love and show grace before I decide how I should treat others.

I want to give up the pre-conceived judgments and the foolish thoughts that flood my idle mind.

I want to dwell on the richness and goodness of Christ my Savior and all the things He has done and freed me from. I want to know Him more.

Lord, make me want You, I know You want me, how can I want You just as much?

Life Means So Much

This past week has been sprinkled with death.

Two men I knew only fairly well, and another lady on the verge, not sure even at this point if she is still around or not.

I have been all sniffles since Thursday evening due to an allergic reaction to lotion on my face. But I feel like I have been crying non-stop since I heard of the brutal death of my friend who was beaten to death and stripped and left out in the bitter cold until someone found him.

I wasn't able to actually shed tears until tonight. Fellowship with the people who knew Uncle Ben too, only around those people have I been able to actually begin the grieving. The real tears have come.

The song "Life Means So Much" by Chris Rice has been running through my mind all week, even before the deaths hit on Thursday.

--Every day is a gift you've been given
--Make the most of the time every minute you're living

If you're reading this, please, I challenge you to make the most of the time and life you've been given. Stop striving so hard for what you don't have and what you want so bad. Enjoy what is right in front of you. We are not guaranteed tomorrow.

I rejoice that for one of these people who passed this week, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, he is in Glory with his Savior and there is now way he would trade that to come back to this cruel world and be with us another second!

If you don't know Christ, please find Him. Follow Him. He is victorious over death and He makes life worth living. Every second.

High-rise

When I was a little girl on the farm, in that drafty, old farmhouse that dad remolded, I did not think I would ever move to that double wide! And how exciting it was to move to that new house that we got to pick out ourselves and arrived at the empty lot on two trailers.

Looking out the bedroom window of the wobbly, wind-beaten double wide I gazed at the buffalo grass and prairie dog holes, and never imagined I would be where I am today.

I could very soon be living in a high-rise in down town Chicago, minutes from the lake, as well as the loop. Walking to work will be my commute in just 11 minutes or so. For the first time in my life I could be living on the sixth floor of a building and have my name on a lease.

So I wonder, as I sit here tonight listening to the hum of the automobiles outside the window of the current apartment; where will I be next after this likely high-rise that I will look back on and remember how I never imagined living there?

H & L

This past summer I was able to meet and spend some quality time with a wonderful Godly, family of four. Like any family they have traditions, this particular one has a special 'tradition' at the dinner table each day to say what each person's high and low was for the day. For example: High- Mom making my favorite meal Low- The baby getting messy on me.

So I had this thought last night as I was in bed, trying so hard to sleep.

What if I write down at the end of each day for the year 2011 my High & Low for each day and thank God for them? I'm sure it will be fun to look back through and laugh or smile, and remember the precious moments God so graciously gives us, breath after breath, moment after moment, day after day.

2010

As this year winds to a rapid end, I decided to look at all my status updates I had this past year on facebook. The reoccurring theme and the ones I loved the most had to do with the faithfulness of the Lord and His provision, and people in my life who have loved me so much.

This has been a great year. God has taught me much. He has stretched me in ways I never thought I'd have to be stretched in. He is still working on me. He is sanctifying me. I'm thankful for it all, the good and the bad, as I look back over it all, I see the necessity of each little trial or joy, for I am closer to Him.

What will 2011 bring? What surprises does the Lord have in store? What battles will I face? How will I see Him so mightily do this year?

I'm trying to live as if each day is so important and taking me one day closer to being with Jesus in Glory. I want to let this be what motivates me to get out of bed in the morning and what drives me while I'm at my job and working with people all day. Can I live in a way that radiates Christ to all I encounter? Lord, make that be 2011. Show me how to love like You. Help me to live today as if I'm going to see You in my next breath.