As this year winds to a rapid end, I decided to look at all my status updates I had this past year on facebook. The reoccurring theme and the ones I loved the most had to do with the faithfulness of the Lord and His provision, and people in my life who have loved me so much.
This has been a great year. God has taught me much. He has stretched me in ways I never thought I'd have to be stretched in. He is still working on me. He is sanctifying me. I'm thankful for it all, the good and the bad, as I look back over it all, I see the necessity of each little trial or joy, for I am closer to Him.
What will 2011 bring? What surprises does the Lord have in store? What battles will I face? How will I see Him so mightily do this year?
I'm trying to live as if each day is so important and taking me one day closer to being with Jesus in Glory. I want to let this be what motivates me to get out of bed in the morning and what drives me while I'm at my job and working with people all day. Can I live in a way that radiates Christ to all I encounter? Lord, make that be 2011. Show me how to love like You. Help me to live today as if I'm going to see You in my next breath.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Baby Jesus
The power of the Christ Child is what God has been teaching me about this Christmas season. Last Sunday in church we looked at the first part of Luke and how Mary was told she would carry the Messiah. I cannot help but just be amazed that she was so calm and collected after hearing such alarming news! Of course she had some disbelief, but she knew that the Lord had chosen her and she so willingly accepted the mission He had set before her.
Today on my way home from the dentist, there was a cheesy radio drama on, at first I thought it was just a bad commercial, then I listened closer.
It was a dramatized version of Simeon & Anna in the temple and their anticipation for the coming King. Then when the little humble family did show up, just the power of the small baby Jesus was incredible to hear in the radio drama. These two people who had waited all their lives for the promised Messiah had not lost hope, they knew they would see Him! And the joy that must have filled their entire beings when their eyes met His for the first time. The words of Simeon in the drama, "...I have now seen Salvation first hand!" He saw His Savior; he recognized Him, even wrapped in the humble rags. The power of that small Babe astounds me and leaves me in utter awe. People with faith truly find Him. But even better yet, He knows every heart, He has prepared hearts to trust in Him, He will see to it that His power is known in every heart that puts trusting faith in Him.
Oh to know and experience the power of the Christ-child every day.
Today on my way home from the dentist, there was a cheesy radio drama on, at first I thought it was just a bad commercial, then I listened closer.
It was a dramatized version of Simeon & Anna in the temple and their anticipation for the coming King. Then when the little humble family did show up, just the power of the small baby Jesus was incredible to hear in the radio drama. These two people who had waited all their lives for the promised Messiah had not lost hope, they knew they would see Him! And the joy that must have filled their entire beings when their eyes met His for the first time. The words of Simeon in the drama, "...I have now seen Salvation first hand!" He saw His Savior; he recognized Him, even wrapped in the humble rags. The power of that small Babe astounds me and leaves me in utter awe. People with faith truly find Him. But even better yet, He knows every heart, He has prepared hearts to trust in Him, He will see to it that His power is known in every heart that puts trusting faith in Him.
Oh to know and experience the power of the Christ-child every day.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
chore boots, carharts, cows
These things are home to me. I don't mind the fact that I live in Chicago and walk around in a carhart and chore boots, for me it is part of who I am. I don't care too much that those may not be the style for Chicago, it is totally the style where I come from and it is practical.
Today in the Denver airport, I looked at Ruth and said, "We're definitely in Colorado." A good mix of people in carharts, boots, and others in outdoor mountain gear.
We were landing in Grand Junction and I looked out the plane window and saw a herd of cattle. Oh the beauty!
Sam was driving us home, and all we saw for miles was wide open spaces. No more starbucks! :) WE are out west, where the wild things are, the warmness of people who care, and the joy of a small country mountain home.
Today in the Denver airport, I looked at Ruth and said, "We're definitely in Colorado." A good mix of people in carharts, boots, and others in outdoor mountain gear.
We were landing in Grand Junction and I looked out the plane window and saw a herd of cattle. Oh the beauty!
Sam was driving us home, and all we saw for miles was wide open spaces. No more starbucks! :) WE are out west, where the wild things are, the warmness of people who care, and the joy of a small country mountain home.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Connecting the Dots
So you know that mysterious guy I've wrote about a few times? And you know all those boys I blogged about a few posts ago? The two collided today, making for the thoughts I will share now.
One of my dear friends is convinced he and his wife will find a husband for me when they leave for the far away mission field... however, this man (according to my friend) will be an elderly gentleman...who probably just wants a cook and housekeeper.
The other guys over heard this conversation and how I thought that if I marry an old man, my desperation will truly show!
They then began to share their dating advice. Basically my conclusion is to just give up. Then the guys will FLOOD around me and notice me and be so interested. Hahahahahaha
Funny way to end work today.
So I just decided to go to the store, however, I saw a friend who knows the mystery man and we chatted for a while.
She confirmed the same admiration for his weird yet intriguing demeanor. He is a truly genuine person, so intentional, deep, and such a good friend. I told her how I wish I just knew him better or knew what was going on inside his mind.
After some recent events with him, I have been a little worried about our friendship, but after this conversation with our mutual friend today, I'm confident my friendship with the mystery man will continue. He is an encouragement and blessing in my life. And he probably appreciates me more than I realize.
Anyhow, you ask, how do these two collide?
Well.....
I'm just so content tonight. I came home and just sat in my cold, messy, but cozy apartment. Roommates gone (love them, but it is nice to have space sometimes!). Curled up and watched some Gilmore Girls, warmed up food from work, and have just sat at my computer enjoying life by myself!
Seriously, I have LOVED this tonight. Usually I have depressed Friday nights alone... but tonight doesn't even feel like a Friday night. And I am really happy to be alone. I'm really ok, I don't really want a man in my life right now, not because what the guys said, but honestly because I'm truly enjoying this. It is wonderful.
However...my room is not cleaning itself...
One of my dear friends is convinced he and his wife will find a husband for me when they leave for the far away mission field... however, this man (according to my friend) will be an elderly gentleman...who probably just wants a cook and housekeeper.
The other guys over heard this conversation and how I thought that if I marry an old man, my desperation will truly show!
They then began to share their dating advice. Basically my conclusion is to just give up. Then the guys will FLOOD around me and notice me and be so interested. Hahahahahaha
Funny way to end work today.
So I just decided to go to the store, however, I saw a friend who knows the mystery man and we chatted for a while.
She confirmed the same admiration for his weird yet intriguing demeanor. He is a truly genuine person, so intentional, deep, and such a good friend. I told her how I wish I just knew him better or knew what was going on inside his mind.
After some recent events with him, I have been a little worried about our friendship, but after this conversation with our mutual friend today, I'm confident my friendship with the mystery man will continue. He is an encouragement and blessing in my life. And he probably appreciates me more than I realize.
Anyhow, you ask, how do these two collide?
Well.....
I'm just so content tonight. I came home and just sat in my cold, messy, but cozy apartment. Roommates gone (love them, but it is nice to have space sometimes!). Curled up and watched some Gilmore Girls, warmed up food from work, and have just sat at my computer enjoying life by myself!
Seriously, I have LOVED this tonight. Usually I have depressed Friday nights alone... but tonight doesn't even feel like a Friday night. And I am really happy to be alone. I'm really ok, I don't really want a man in my life right now, not because what the guys said, but honestly because I'm truly enjoying this. It is wonderful.
However...my room is not cleaning itself...
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Importance
Today was the first time in a long while that I have felt like I have some meaning or importance. What a satisfying feeling to know, see, and experience actually helping and making a difference, and to love love love to do it and get paid for it too!
I guess something I have learned about today is that for all my life my parents and grandma have pushed me to do what I love, no matter what. They taught me to work hard and to do any job well. Even the challenging jobs that aren't fun. I'd like to think that I can do that. At the same time though, I have also been encouraged all my life to strive for what I love and run after what I was created to do and the person God made me to be. That is why today meant so much. I can see so much more clearly after today that I am so absolutely meant to work with people in a community. Not just for my benefit, no no. For Him, for His Glory. This is where I thrive because of how God made me. This is where my gifting comes alive. It is ok to want to go to work every day and to love every minute of it. It is ok to do something one loves, because really, isn't that how God made us anyhow? He's the one who gave us the love of whatever it is.
As I think about all that has come in place in the last few months, I cannot help but be thankful for the things that God has taught me though it all. I am reminded that these same influential people who pushed me to strive after what I love and work hard, also taught me to learn something from every situation and circumstance. Even the bad or not so enjoyable moments are in place for a reason and lessons can be learned from it all. I am so thankful for these people who have taught me these things, and for these experiences that have sharpened me and grown me. I'm sure there are more ahead.
I guess something I have learned about today is that for all my life my parents and grandma have pushed me to do what I love, no matter what. They taught me to work hard and to do any job well. Even the challenging jobs that aren't fun. I'd like to think that I can do that. At the same time though, I have also been encouraged all my life to strive for what I love and run after what I was created to do and the person God made me to be. That is why today meant so much. I can see so much more clearly after today that I am so absolutely meant to work with people in a community. Not just for my benefit, no no. For Him, for His Glory. This is where I thrive because of how God made me. This is where my gifting comes alive. It is ok to want to go to work every day and to love every minute of it. It is ok to do something one loves, because really, isn't that how God made us anyhow? He's the one who gave us the love of whatever it is.
As I think about all that has come in place in the last few months, I cannot help but be thankful for the things that God has taught me though it all. I am reminded that these same influential people who pushed me to strive after what I love and work hard, also taught me to learn something from every situation and circumstance. Even the bad or not so enjoyable moments are in place for a reason and lessons can be learned from it all. I am so thankful for these people who have taught me these things, and for these experiences that have sharpened me and grown me. I'm sure there are more ahead.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Boys (plural)
Only three days left with the little boys, then I start a job supervising college boys.
Oh how funny.
I just was thinking about this tonight and how often in my life I've just naturally been the only girl in a group of guys, or had to work with just boys.
I love it. Of course. But it is kinda humerus to me just how often this has occurred.
For instance:
way back in 6th grade, at youth group it would be me, Grady & Brian
in sophomore english, it was me, Trevor & Jason
senior year, it was me & Rowdy or me, Randy & Michael
my first PCM at Moody, me, the only girl with 4 boys, every Sunday.
my first break at Moody, worked with two guys
working dishcrew the night of JSB my sophomore year, I was the only girl
countless shifts and other random jobs at Moody where it was me and boys
Friday nights with the Goossen boys in the library watching movies or them picking me up from babysitting
Going with Killer & all the guys from his floor to a movie one night... which led to many more movie nights with Reb & the boys from 17
PCM my senior year, Nate, Alan, Tyler, Cory & me... at least they let me sit in the front and tune the radio...
Needless to say, I love boys and most of these situations and the others I didn't remember to record right now, were just naturally part of life, not really that I chose to be in those situations because of boys or the boys participating in the events.
I look forward to working with some great guys in the near future. I already know they're great and they will probably teach me so much. I look forward to this!
The best part of having so many guy friends is twofold:
1. I can bake them yummy treats, and they love me for it.
2. I have an ENTIRE army to interrogate, beat up, and destroy anyone who wants to mess with me.
So here's my ode to boys. Love you guys!
Oh how funny.
I just was thinking about this tonight and how often in my life I've just naturally been the only girl in a group of guys, or had to work with just boys.
I love it. Of course. But it is kinda humerus to me just how often this has occurred.
For instance:
way back in 6th grade, at youth group it would be me, Grady & Brian
in sophomore english, it was me, Trevor & Jason
senior year, it was me & Rowdy or me, Randy & Michael
my first PCM at Moody, me, the only girl with 4 boys, every Sunday.
my first break at Moody, worked with two guys
working dishcrew the night of JSB my sophomore year, I was the only girl
countless shifts and other random jobs at Moody where it was me and boys
Friday nights with the Goossen boys in the library watching movies or them picking me up from babysitting
Going with Killer & all the guys from his floor to a movie one night... which led to many more movie nights with Reb & the boys from 17
PCM my senior year, Nate, Alan, Tyler, Cory & me... at least they let me sit in the front and tune the radio...
Needless to say, I love boys and most of these situations and the others I didn't remember to record right now, were just naturally part of life, not really that I chose to be in those situations because of boys or the boys participating in the events.
I look forward to working with some great guys in the near future. I already know they're great and they will probably teach me so much. I look forward to this!
The best part of having so many guy friends is twofold:
1. I can bake them yummy treats, and they love me for it.
2. I have an ENTIRE army to interrogate, beat up, and destroy anyone who wants to mess with me.
So here's my ode to boys. Love you guys!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
TFMTW
One Thursday left.
One Friday left.
One Monday left.
One Tuesday left.
One Wednesday left.
This time next week I will no longer be working full time.
Of course with all the excitment that comes with this and the new set of challenges and adventures that are ahead, there is a little bit of sadness too. Especially after comments today such as: "Miss Becca, why do you have other jobs?" Or "Jesus wants us to kill our enemies." (Which to that one there was a long discussion on what Jesus REALLY teaches about our enemies!!)
I will miss these boys. They are funny. I LOVE their laughs so much. I love that Matty's little neck is so ticklish and he loves to smile his 'cheesy face'. Micah asks a million questions and always has something to say. I love when he thinks I'm so so funny.
I will miss telling Micah things about Jesus or reading him a Bible story. Those have been valuable moments and I have learned so much through each.
I am not to anxious to count down the days, I want to make the end the best and enjoy it. I know it will go by fast and I will always look back on the past 6 months and think of all the many valuable lessons I learned, day after day.
I thank God for the ways He has provided in my life, even through the hard, most challenging things. He is good.
One Friday left.
One Monday left.
One Tuesday left.
One Wednesday left.
This time next week I will no longer be working full time.
Of course with all the excitment that comes with this and the new set of challenges and adventures that are ahead, there is a little bit of sadness too. Especially after comments today such as: "Miss Becca, why do you have other jobs?" Or "Jesus wants us to kill our enemies." (Which to that one there was a long discussion on what Jesus REALLY teaches about our enemies!!)
I will miss these boys. They are funny. I LOVE their laughs so much. I love that Matty's little neck is so ticklish and he loves to smile his 'cheesy face'. Micah asks a million questions and always has something to say. I love when he thinks I'm so so funny.
I will miss telling Micah things about Jesus or reading him a Bible story. Those have been valuable moments and I have learned so much through each.
I am not to anxious to count down the days, I want to make the end the best and enjoy it. I know it will go by fast and I will always look back on the past 6 months and think of all the many valuable lessons I learned, day after day.
I thank God for the ways He has provided in my life, even through the hard, most challenging things. He is good.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Overthinking?
This one is long, and a little bit like a journal, so don't feel like you have to read it, I more just had to get my thoughts out.
Sometimes I over think things. Especially when it comes to guys. This week has been so great for me as far as just being content in my singleness and truly trying to enjoy each day and not live in constant expectation. I'm so thankful for this mental/emotional 'change', and that it has been more enjoyable and easier than I guess I would have thought before. I think what my friend said a few months ago about 'liking the idea of a relationship more than the person' is and has been where I'm at. And I don't want to be there, but I know that I am terrified of the reality of being in a serious relationship with someone again, and even marriage. Also, I'm just being reminded of all the wonderful things I can do as a single that are much more convenient than if I were married. Praise God for me being single right now. I don't know if I will be forever, but I thank Him for the strength He has so obviously provided to encourage me and help me endure these days that I am single. I will trust Him day by day.
Back to the over thinking...
So even though this week has been so so so great and positive for me as far as seeing myself as a single and being ok with that; I still have been confused by this person in my life. I don't get him. He is still a mystery. I just convinced myself the other night that I can't over think things, or read into them, and that there is no way that he really could or would be interested in me as more than a friend. Then today, after a short run-in, I was left even more confused. After relaying the scenario with two friends, they agree and confirm that they think there is something there on his end, even if it is that he just enjoys my friendship.
I guess I just don't know what to do. I thought I was over him. I'm so frustrated with crushes, I don't understand why they have to be a part of life. I don't think having a crush is productive at all. I have had so many crushes and they all end with nothing. I know that there is some reason for them, maybe to get me to pray more, but I really wish I would just stop liking people for the sake of liking them. If I'm going to like someone, can't it be for longer and for less shallow reasons than when I realize that they are never going to like me that way or it would never work out between us? I'm done with crushes. Or so I think until a day like this comes along, and other people see the possible signs of 'my crush' liking me too. What would I do if he really liked me back? oh my. I feel like I don't know him at all, but I want to. I feel like such a little girl...wondering about this person, does he think about me? Does he realize how much I think about him?
Well that's on my mind tonight. Thanks, blog, for letting me spill on you.
Sometimes I over think things. Especially when it comes to guys. This week has been so great for me as far as just being content in my singleness and truly trying to enjoy each day and not live in constant expectation. I'm so thankful for this mental/emotional 'change', and that it has been more enjoyable and easier than I guess I would have thought before. I think what my friend said a few months ago about 'liking the idea of a relationship more than the person' is and has been where I'm at. And I don't want to be there, but I know that I am terrified of the reality of being in a serious relationship with someone again, and even marriage. Also, I'm just being reminded of all the wonderful things I can do as a single that are much more convenient than if I were married. Praise God for me being single right now. I don't know if I will be forever, but I thank Him for the strength He has so obviously provided to encourage me and help me endure these days that I am single. I will trust Him day by day.
Back to the over thinking...
So even though this week has been so so so great and positive for me as far as seeing myself as a single and being ok with that; I still have been confused by this person in my life. I don't get him. He is still a mystery. I just convinced myself the other night that I can't over think things, or read into them, and that there is no way that he really could or would be interested in me as more than a friend. Then today, after a short run-in, I was left even more confused. After relaying the scenario with two friends, they agree and confirm that they think there is something there on his end, even if it is that he just enjoys my friendship.
I guess I just don't know what to do. I thought I was over him. I'm so frustrated with crushes, I don't understand why they have to be a part of life. I don't think having a crush is productive at all. I have had so many crushes and they all end with nothing. I know that there is some reason for them, maybe to get me to pray more, but I really wish I would just stop liking people for the sake of liking them. If I'm going to like someone, can't it be for longer and for less shallow reasons than when I realize that they are never going to like me that way or it would never work out between us? I'm done with crushes. Or so I think until a day like this comes along, and other people see the possible signs of 'my crush' liking me too. What would I do if he really liked me back? oh my. I feel like I don't know him at all, but I want to. I feel like such a little girl...wondering about this person, does he think about me? Does he realize how much I think about him?
Well that's on my mind tonight. Thanks, blog, for letting me spill on you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)