I feel like I have been learning more in the past almost year I've been out of school than I did the 4 years I was there. New challenges have faced me almost daily that have forced me to learn how to respond or react.
New fears have developed. And I am once again reminded by those in my life that we all have insecurities. I am learning more about myself, realizing more every day how selfish I am and how much I think the world revolves around me in my thoughts, mostly when I spend so much time worrying about what people think of me, and how I probably annoy the heck out of virtually everyone I interact with. How silly though! They probably in all honesty are thinking about themselves too, and wrestling silently inside with their own insecurities. How encouraging!
Why do I feel like I have to prove myself to people?
Today in conversation with a friend, the truth that has been rolling around in my head finally was verbalized. I wrote it a few weeks ago in my journal, but today I was able to put some vocal words to it. I don't know what this means, and I don't know what the results will be. Maybe I'll blog about that in a different post sometime...
The biggest thing I'm learning as of late is that no matter if I'm single or not, I have to believe that Christ is sufficient in my life to take care of me, meet my every need, never leave me, and that He will always be enough. If at some point a man and I find our selves on this path called life together, we will both have to have that faith, faith to believe that Christ is enough, because neither of us sinful people will be sufficient or meet the expectations fully of the other.
The struggle is that I have doubts. I believe all of that to be true, I just am struggling to believe it and live it. I pray my faith would increase. Faith for each new day. Faith for the moment. Faith, simply believing God is who He says He is and trusting in that, even though I don't understand it completely.
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